


I hate that I love you

by byeeernx



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-01 04:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10180238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeeernx/pseuds/byeeernx
Summary: It's transfer window and Thomas isn't ready for what it's coming in his way. This season Robert Lewandowski and Mats Hummels will join Bayern Munich their biggest rival, the reason is unknown until now.While all the other teammates welcome them with open arms, it's Thomas, usually know as an easy-going and cheerful person, to be the one skeptical about the intentions of the two of them especially Robert. When things escalate between Thomas and Robert, it's Mats who takes Robert's side, leaving Thomas even more confused about their transfer together. When everything you thought you knew turns upside down, what do you do?





	1. Things will never feel quite the same, but they're never gonna change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrandmrslegendary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrandmrslegendary/gifts).



> I dedicate this story to my dear friend Andrea! She was the one who convinced me to write this stuff and basically, all my inspiration came from her xD She helped me with the ideas, the summary... everything! So if you end up enjoying this story (which I doubt lmao) you can thank her! This is my first fanfiction and English it's not my native language so if I did something wrong I'm sorry! This won't be a long story and first chapter it's only an introduction. I hope you end up liking it :)

"The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indiference."

August 15th, Munich

Well, Thomas always knew that transfer window sucked but the arrival of two players from their rival team made this one ten times worse, especially when you're not playing well and one of them will play in the same position as you. God should be probably testing his sanity right now.

Carlo made he and the rest of the team wait for Mats and Robert on the pitch, they were all very excited with the idea of new teammates, well, everyone except for Thomas. Manuel, Jerome and Philipp couldn't wait to play with Hummels again and the rest of the team were going crazy about properly meeting and finally being able to play in the same team of the new star of the bundesliga aka Robert Lewandowski. All of them stopped talking when a black car parked in front of the pitch and the two man got out of it and started walking in their direction. 

Thomas noticed Mats first and he realized he actually missed his friend, and then a couple steps behind him was Robert. The blond man remebered him from other games but seeing him personally messed up with his head in a way he couldn't explain. His heart skipped a beat but he quikly got back to his senses. He didn't like Robert and he werent start liking him now, that tall (maybe hot) pole statue who only came from their rival to take his place.

"So boys, as you know, this season we'll have these two awesome players to help us winning trophies!" Carlo said pointing to Robert and Mats "Welcome to Bayern Munich, we are very happy to have you here! Guys, please be nice to them and make them feel comfortable here"  
Thomas thought this day couldn't be worse, he wanted to rip his ears out so he didn't need to hear all this bullshit. When Carlo stopped talking , he thought they finally could start training but damn he was totally wrong, the coach took him by the arm just in time.

"Thomas, I want you to show the training center to Robert, Mats already played and trained here so he will start his medical exams right now " 

"Well, uh I.. uh.." Thomas couldn't find the words but no way he'll show the place for the Robert "Everyone loves me" Lewandowski "I have to train, like, you know I'm not playing well this season so... Damn, everytime you give me the speech that I don't score and bla bla bla but how do you want me to score if you don't let me train huh? this seems incoherent to me, just saying" Yes, now he finally could get rid of this "show Robert the place" stuff and finally can have some peace. At least that's what he thought.

"No Thomas, you will show Robert the place wanting or not, today is a recovery training which I dont think you need because you are barely in the line-ups I do for the games"

"But-"

"No "but's" Thomas, you will do it. And don't forget to be nice!" 

"Fine" Carlo walked away from them leaving a scared Robert and a very mad Thomas alone. Robert finally got the guts to say something.

"So... if you don't want to do it you don't have to, later I can ask Mats to-" 

"Shut up, let's get this thing done already or Carlo will bench me for the rest of the season"

"Okay" that was all the polish man could say after all.

(...)

"...and here it's the dressing room" Thomas said with no sign of intusiasm in his voice, he wasn't covering how he was hating to do it or how the polish man's presence was getting him out of his mind for no rational reason at all. The problem is that the german man can't explain what Robert causes in him, it's kind of a mixture of anxiety and agony, he can't think straight next to him.

"Nice." Robert wanted to know why the blond man was treating him that way, he never did anything to him, did he? Going to play in your rival team was already a hard thing and being welcomed this way only made it harder, especially coming from Thomas who everyone says it's the most funny person in the world and one of the nicest people in the team. If he is the nicest, Robert doesn't want to know anyone anymore. Or maybe the problem it's me, the pole man thought. He wanted to have a good relationship with Thomas, he just doesn't know how.

Coming to Bayern wasn't Robert's first choice, but the way things were going in Dortmund didn't give him enough time to think where to go, he just wanted go away from that place and that people as soon as possible and the bavarian team had openned it's doors for him. Fortunatelly, his best friend Mats offered himself to come with him to Munich, without Mats he'd probably be totally lost.

"Now I'm going to show you the gym and we're done" Thomas voice brought Robert back from his thoughts.

"I thought you were going to show me everyhting here, like Carlo said" The German man only showed him the half of the place.

"You have two legs, I think you are pretty able to do it alone, don't you agree?"

"Why do you hate me so much?" That question took Thomas out of his guard, he was shocked. He opened his mouth several times but nothing came out. He didn't see that coming.

"I don't hate you" he said finally

"But you don't like me either?" Lewy raised his eyebrow, this time Thomas looked right in the polish man's eyes, he couldn't give Robert an answer because he didn't have one. He just looked away, turned around and started walking.

"Let's go, if you insist, I'll show you the rest of the camp"

"You didn't answer me" Robert insisted.

"I don't have the obligation to do it" Ouch. Lewy stood silent after that.

(...)

"...so now you know everyhting and my job here it's done" Thomas said barely looking in Robert's face, turned around and walked away. Why he needed to be like that? Despite the way Thomas treated him, deep inside Lewy was a little happy to have spent the afternoon with him.

"Thomas" the german man frozened in his place.

"What?" Thomas rolled his eyes and turned around.

"Thank you" the words came out so quickly that Thomas couldn't find a way to answer it properly. He just nodded and let a little smile escape, so he kept walking, leaving a very confused Robert behind.

 

As soon as Thomas entered the dressing room his teammates showered him with questions and let's just say he wasn't in the mood to talk about the perfect Robert Lewandowski. Not only because he was afraid to lose his place for Lewy but also because he didn't know how to feel about him, especially after this afternoon which Thomas treated him so badly and he was still able to say something nice to him. 

"How was your day with our new star, buddy?" Manuel was the first one to ask.

"I heard he is one of the favorites to be indicated for Ballon D'Or this year" Bernat said to Manuel.

"It was totally shit Manu, I can't stand him" The bavarian said while rolling his eyes. Oh, God why do I have to hear this stuff?

"He did something to you this afternoon?" Philipp popped out of nowhere to ask.

"He seems to be a nice guy, you must be overreacting" This time Thiago spoke.

"I'm not overreacting, and no he didn't do anything but I know he it's just a superstar wannabe who will want to transform this club to his own needs and, to be honest, he doesn't play that well."

"To me it seems you are jealous" Joshua dropped the bomb and left the room before his teammate started the drama. 

"HEY, I'M NOT JEALOUS OK?!" That little bitch! I protected this child at all costs just for him to betray me like this?? The bavarian thought "C'mon guys! He came from Borussia Dortmund, of course he'll want to destroy this club! He doesn't like us, he is only thinking of his career and will use our team for his own benefit and-" 

"Say one more word Thomas and I swear I'll break your nose right now" Suddenly the room got silent and everyone turned their heads to see a extremely angry Mats Hummels entering by the door " You don't know shit about him or why we came to Bayern, okay? So shut your fucking mouth!" The defender said while he picked up his stuff and walked away from the room "I mean it, Thomas"

Everyone stood silent after that, no one have ever seen Mats this mad except for the time that they pranked him saying that Benni would transfer for an english club.

Slowly everybody left the room leaving a equally shocked and confused Thomas alone. What were Mats talking about? What Robert is hiding from them? And he said we? Mats and Robert have something? This last question left a strange feeling in his stomach. Too many questions and no answers. He was perplexed. And tired. It was definitely time to go home. 

 

August 15th, Dortmund 

Another bottle crashed against the wall and smashed across the floor. And another one, and another one. Marco lost the count of how many he already had broken. He was devastated and mad, no, mad was a too subtle word, he was furious. He wanted to pick that stupid letter and torn it apart in million pieces. 

He got of out the bed and stood in the front of the bathroom's mirror, he washed his face and whispered to himself.  
"This isn't over yet, Robert"

 

 

 

"You're part of the past,  
but now you're the future   
Signals crossing can get confusing [...]"


	2. Please, don't let them look through the curtains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we discover part of Robert's past and we'll see how he and the others deal with it.

"You were my teddy bear. You were comforting and quiet, how did love become so violent? Oh, teddy bear, you were my teddy bear. Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me"

August 26th, Munich

Robert woke up feeling good about himself today. After all, these last weeks he was doing well in the training, Carlo was very proud of him and he had a good relation with everybody in the team, well, almost everybody. Thomas still barely directed a word to him, it is almost like Robert didn't even exist. But today nothing was going to ruin his mood, not even his scars and bruises.

Lewy got up from bed to take a shower, he stood in front of the mirror while taking all the bandages out of his body. Since he arrived the bruises and wounds had already healed a lot, even though some of them still were very swollen and sensible. Most of the people don't know the polish striker struggled a lot in life, everyone thinks his life is perfect when in reality this is all just a shell who can fall into pieces at any moment. Just a few weeks Munich changed Lewy's life in a completely good way, he was able to reduce the frequency of times he went to the psychologist from 5 days a week to 2, the dose of his antidepressant decreased and he could finally live his life with no fear of what could happen when he arrived home. 

Leaving Marco behind was the best choice Robert made in his life, at least now he wouldn't get spanked by him or get to see Reus threaten and kill people just for fun. Lewy unlocked his phone to see what time it was and damn he was late, but there was also a message from an unknown number "Hello, sweetheart. Missing me already? haha! Come back home, Lewy! Don't make me travel to Munich and bring you back personally ;)"

Robert felt a shiver ran down his spine. No, not this again. Maybe it was a mistake, who knows? But it couldn't be Marco going after him.  
He locked his phone, got in the car and started driving when another message popped up "Your mom never told you that it's rude to ignore someone's message? Robert no one is playing games here. I meant that. You have two weeks to go back to Dortmund or I'll find another way to bring you here and you'll won't like it. I don't need to say who I am, do I? haha I'll be waiting for you." 

(...)

When Lewy arrived in the pitch everybody had already warmed up and Carlo was dividing them into four small teams to play against each other.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." the coach said "Run around the pitch five times so you can start training" Robert just nodded.

"This is so unfair!" a familiar voice said, "If it was any other person Carlo would've taken his kidney out, but since is him then suddenly everything it's ok!"

"Shut up, Thomas!" Philipp said before Lewy could even process what happened "What's your problem with Lewandowski? Get over it! Now let's do what we came here for, train" and went out carrying Thomas by his arm.

"Hey, are you ok? You are looking paler than usual" Mats voice dragged Robert back to reality

"Uh, yeah I am uh-" the pole man thought in talking about all that happened that morning to his friend but he knew Marco and he didn't want to put the most important person in his life in even more danger "I just had a nightmare and couldn't sleep well after it last night haha I'm exhausted, man!" In fact, he was exhausted but of life.

"Man, why didn't you call me? I would've stayed awake all night to make company to you!" The german smiled. Robert wanted to cry, he wasn't worthy of Mats' friendship.

"I didn't want to bother you" he lied

"You will never bother me, Robert. I'm your best friend and I would do anything in this world for you, just because I want you to be okay. " That was the problem. Lewandowski knew that Hummels would do anything for him, and that's what scared him the most and also was the motive that Robert could never let he know about the messages Marco sent.

"Thank you"

"You can always count on me " the german smiled "Now, I think it's better you start your warm up, otherwise Carlo will really get mad"

(...)

As soon as the pole man finished running the coach revealed the teams, Robert was on the same team as Sven, Mats, Thiago and Javi. They'll start playing against Thomas' team which was composed by Jerome, Philipp, Xabi, Alaba and Manuel. Oh shit. The polish man knew somehow that the game wasn't going to end up well.

At the final two minutes when Lewy was close to scoring the go-ahead goal he felt someone's foot smashing his ribs, he fell down flat on the pitch, his vision started blurring, the person hit him right in one of his most inflamed bruises. The last thing he saw before fainting was a furious Mats punching Thomas in the nose and then everything went black.

Robert went passed out for about 15 seconds which for Hummels it seemed like hours when the pole man woke up, Mats took him in his arms to the dressing room. As soon as they left the pitch everyone's heads turned to Thomas.

"This time you crossed all the lines, Müller! If Robert was the reason you were scared of being benched now you can relax because that won't be a problem anymore, you'll be benched and it's all your fault!"  
Carlo was beyond than angry with Thomas, he left the place leaving him with all his teammates

"I wasn't expecting it from you, Thomas" Manuel said and the rest of the team agreed

"I didn't do that on purpose! It-"

"After all the hate you've been showing about Lewandowski do you really want us to believe it?" This time Philipp spoke.

"I-"

"No Thomas, we don't want to know. Right now the best thing you can do is go after Robert and at least apologize." when Lahm finished talking the team left the pitch, leaving Thomas immersed in his guilty.

(...)

A few hours later, the bavarian took the rest of courage he had and went after Robert, he really needed to apologize but he didn't know how. Everything he did since Lewy arrived was to treat him with disgust if he were the polish man he would've never look at his face again. But Thomas needed to try. When he was about to enter the dressing room he stopped right by the door first looking for Mats but he only saw a complete devastated Lewandowski staring at his own reflection. 

Robert started taking his shirt off and then Thomas could see all the bruises especially the one he hit today. His heart shrank, he could see that the polish was almost in tears while cleaning his bandages, the bavarian was shocked. He knew he had hurt Robert today but not all of those marks were left by him. What could've happened to him? Who did it to him? When it all became too much Thomas finally entered the room.  
"Lewandowski?" Thomas' voice caught Robert's attention and the pole quickly put his shirt back on and regained his composure.

"What do you want, Thomas?" his voice sounded so sad and weak at the same time that all Thomas wanted was to hug him and take his pain away.

"Oh, I uh- just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really crossed the line today and you don't deserve what I did" Robert didn't believe in anything he said at all but deep inside he was happy that Thomas apologized.

"That's okay, now you can leave " It was all Lewy was capable of saying at the moment. He was tired, he thought Munich would be a good choice until this morning but right now he realized how wrong he was and how he'll never fit here if he keeps having these unnecessary problems with Thomas.

"No, it's not. I really meant that. I treated you very badly since you got here and I am really sorry, I should've received you the way I wanted to be if I were you. I was an asshole with you but... I was wondering if from now we could try to be friends or at least colleagues? I know I don't deserve your friendship or anything like that but I want to start making things right since we're going to play for the same team in a while " A little smiled lifted Robert's lips, he didn't believe in Thomas' words or that he changed at all but Lewy was willing to give him a chance.

"Yeah, I think we can" And this time Thomas forgot Lewy's bruises and hugged him, only being aware of them when the pole moaned in pain.

"Robert, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" and when the blond man looked at Robert's face, silent tears fell from his cerulean eyes "What happened with you? Who did that?" 

"Who did what?" The pole was shocked.

"Those scars and bruises in you, who did that?" 

'"How do you know about them?" Robert's voice was a mix of anger and fear.

"Do you forgot you were shirtless when I got here?" Thomas said sounding obvious and also hiding the fact he were watching Robert without his consent.

"Well, it's a long story" he hesitated 

"I've got a lot of time, you know" Robert didn't want to tell him or put another person in danger but it was an exhausting day and he was so tired of everything... He needed to talk with someone, preferably Mats but the defender had to go home to take care of Benni who was sick, so Thomas was his only available choice. 

"It all started two years ago when I started dating Marco. In the beginning, it was all beautiful, you know? He said all the time he loved me and wanted to see me happy, cared about my well being... until I finally fell in love with him deeply " these last words made Thomas' stomach twist inside him "Then one day during an arguing he punched me for the first time... and- " now the tears were falling harder across his face "And it became a common thing to him especially when he was high on amphetamines, then he started using knives, guns... everything you could imagine to hurt me and it happened almost every single night. No one besides Mats knows about it but, Marco is a psychopath. He didn't love me he loved the idea of having me he cheated on me several times and I was too scared to do anything about it" Robert was getting more relaxed now "Also, he is a drug dealer. I 've seen everything he did, every purchase, every person he killed because of the deals. That's why I ran away from Dortmund, I didn't even say nothing to him, I just left a letter, picked up my things and came here with Mats"

Thomas were speechless, he wanted to punch himself in the face for everything he did to Robert. All this time he was saying that Lewandowski was a selfish, stupid footballer when in fact that person was him.All Lewy wanted was some place to accept him and Thomas just threw pebbles at him. Also, he wanted to kill Marco, how could someone dare to do something to hurt that lovely man?

"Hey, everything it's okay now." Thomas said while gently grabbing Robert's hand "We are your new family, you are protected here and we won't let anything happen to you, okay? You've been through hard times but let's try to think positive, at least from now you'll be able to live peacefully with your new boyfriend and your teammates who really like you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you I didn't know it, I was so stupid but now I want to make it work. You can count on me for everything now. "

Robert squeezed Thomas' hand, he wanted to believe in those words so much but in reality, he knew that Marco was probably creating something right now to get him back to Dortmund. Besides that, he was also shocked with Thomas who seemed to hate him before and now is suddenly giving him support.

"Boyfriend? " Lewy said after he processed everything Thomas said.

"Mats is your boyfriend, isn't he? He almost broke my nose today because of you" The german laughed.

"No, no. Mats it's my best friend, if it wasn't for him I didn't know how I could've survived all these years" A wave of relief passed through Thomas, he didn't know why he was feeling that way, actually right know he didn't know anything anymore. Weeks ago he was a hundred percent sure he hated Robert with all his forces but right now looking at him so fragile and lost Thomas changed his mind.

"Oh, I see. You're very lucky to have him"

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I even think I don't deserve him"

"Of course you deserve him! Robert, by everything you just told me I can totally say you are one of the strongest people I know and at the same time you are the kindest. You are nice with everyone even with those who don't deserve it, like me. You deserve everything in this life so don't be so hard on yourself"

"Thank you" A comfortable silence settled between them, Robert looked down to his hands only to realize Thomas still holding one of them. The german saw it was getting weird so he let Lewy's hand go.

"You're welcome, and remember, if you need anything you can count on me too now." Thomas said while carefully giving the other man a hug "Now I have to go home and clean my nose bandage, do you want a ride?"

"No it's okay, I came with my car. And I'm sorry for your nose, Mats is very over-protective of me" Robert was a little embarrassed by Hummel's attitude.

"Nah, don't worry I deserved it. See you tomorrow, new friend!" 

"See you, friend" 

(...)

"Don't you see me now?

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you [...]

And on this night and in this light

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

Maybe you'll change your mind

I think I'm falling, I think I'm falling [...]

I don't wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your neck"


	3. You'll soon forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short and I'm not happy with it, I ran out of inspiration and I didn't have time to read it again so sorry if there is something wrong but I promise the next one will be better. Here we'll see a bit of Mats, Marco and Thomas xD

"If you love me hardcore, then don't walk away. It's a game I don't wanna play, I just wanna be yours like I always say, never let me go."

September 2nd, Munich

This last week was amazing to Robert and Thomas.Since they solved their problems they turned being one of the best dynamic duos ever, Thomas even started to score again in the matches so now both of them were in the line-ups. They started doing things together, Thomas was teaching Lewy how to play golf and after their training sessions they end up in Robert's house drinking a beer and enjoying each others company. 

Last night Mats joined them, what didn't make Thomas very happy but he said nothing about it. The bavarian started developing feelings for Robert and seeing their intimacy made him jealous, he wasn't quite sure if he could believe in the pole man when he said there was nothing between both of them but he was trying. Later, Thomas left to his house and Mats slept in Lewy's house because his apartment was being fumigated.

In the morning, Mats was waiting for Robert to put his clothes on so they could go to the training center when a message popped out of Lewy's cell phone "I warned you, this is your last day, you better have packed your stuff to go back to Dortmund." Hummels knew that it wasn't nice to invade his friend's privacy this way but he was worried, so he opened the chat and read all the other messages Marco sent him, Robert didn't answer any of them but he sent billions of messages threatening him. Mats were worried and scared, he needed to do something. He realized Lewandowski was acting weird but he thought it was because his dumbass crush on Thomas not because of Marco again. Why didn't Robert tell him? Of course, that was probably that shit he has in head that says "I don't want to bother you and blah blah blah" Lewy could never bother Mats, he is like a brother to him and Hummels loves him so much.

"I'm ready, let's go" Robert coming out dressed from the bathroom caught the German in surprise

"Let's go"

"Why you are with my phone?" Mats paralyzed 

"I, uh- couldn't find my phone so I was calling it"

"Hm, fine. Now, let's go today I have to arrive early because Thomas and I are going to a restaurant inauguration tonight so we have to go out before everybody"

"Wow, one week and you are taking your boyfriend in a fancy dinner already? To be honest, I'm not surprised. You always had a crush on Thomas"

"Shut up! He is not my boyfriend, we're just friends. He could've never like me"

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? You must be blind, that's the only explanation"

"What? No way, now, seriously we really have to go"

"Fine" They were walking outside of the house when Mats stopped "Is there anything you want to tell me?" he looked deeply into Robert's eyes.

"Yes, that we have to go. Otherwise, I won't be able to get out earlier"

"Okay." that was all the German said.

(...)

During the training, Thomas and Robert were placed far away from each other because the German couldn't shut his mouth, everybody knew he talked a lot but when he was close to Lewy it got ten times worse. Robert was starting to think in what Mats said, maybe someday Thomas could actually like him back, maybe this time he could find someone who really liked him.

As they planned before training ended they went to the dressing room to take a bath and change clothes. Robert opened his bag only to see that his clothes weren't there.

"Damn, I forgot my clothes in the car! Start taking your bath, I'll be right back."

"Okay, but don't take too long, I don't want to arrive there late"

"Fine"

Robert was walking his way to the parking lot by the garden path when suddenly someone pulled him by his arm, pressed him against one of the trees and covered his mouth. Lewandowski was ready to try screaming when he looked in the person's eyes. He paralyzed.

"Oh, sweetheart! Missed me already?" Marco said ironically " I've been texting you all this time and you couldn't even answer me? That was rude" At this point, Robert was crying very hard the tears could rip his skin apart, he was desperate. 

"I hope you did what I asked you this morning because we are going home" he said while turning Robert around and pressing a knife in his back "Now, start walking and we have no time for shows, you can try to scream but no one will hear you from here"

They started walking through the trees when someone hit Marco and Robert fell on the grass, when he turned his head up all he saw was Mats pressing the knife in Reus' neck. Where did he come from? It doesn't matter, he knew that Hummels would always save him against everything and everyone.

"What the hell you are doing here, Marco?" Mats said between his teeth

"I came to take my boyfriend home" he pressed the knife more against Reus' skin

"His home it's here now, he won't come back to Dortmund and you won't too" Marco' widened his eyes, Hummels was going to kill him.

"No, Mats! Wait!" this time Robert spoke "Don't do this, you don't have to be like him"

"Okay, I won't do it this time but if I see your glance again I'll kill you with no mercy." he said looking in Reus' eyes "Got it, Marco?" 

"Yes"

"Then go away now before I change my mind"

Mats released Marco and the blond man made his way to the parking lot and got away in his car. As soon as he left the German hugged Robert desperately.

"What did you have in mind? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to put you in danger"

"But putting yourself was ok? Robert Lewandowski listen, I don't mind being put in danger you should've told me, we could've found a solution to this together" Mats said while still hugging Lewy.

"I'm sorry" he started crying again

"Hey, I'm here. Everything is going to be okay now" He said while wiping the other man's tears, their faces were really close and Mats was still holding him with his other hand.

"Okay" Robert said almost in a whisper

Then they realized someone was watching them.

"Thomas, I-"

"Oh, no I didn't mean to disturb both of you. You said you'd came to your car to pick your clothes so I was wondering if you had an extra towel but nevermind because my dog is sick so I won't be able to come with you to the inauguration and I'll take my shower at home"

"Wait,T-"

"You don't need to give me satisfactions about your life, we are not together. You can give my entry to Mats and go with him" Robert could feel Thomas' words cutting his skin, the german was obviously hurt but he didn't really understand what happened. After saying this Thomas ran away back to the dressing room.

(...)

Marco was far away in his car just watching this scene. He was extremely mad at Mats, but at least now he knew how to properly threaten Robert and make him go back to Dortmund. Mats was so naive thinking he would give up this way... but now he knew who he had to attack, and this person it's Thomas.

"I don't give a fuck about you anyway  
Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you? [...]  
I guess I'm just a play date to you"


	4. Only love can hurt like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas still feels bad about last week events and Robert is trying to make it up to him basically. We have a bit of Marco's point of view too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry for taking so long to update, please don't kill me. University has been so stressful lately and now I barely have time to write, but I promise I'll try my best xD

“Don't be beggin' for your life 'cause that's a lost cause, high stakes, body armor, suicide boy. There's a time for games and there's a time to kill, make up your mind, 'cause the time is here”

September 4th, Dortmund

Marco was laying on his bed thinking how things with Robert turned out this way, he wasn’t a bad boyfriend, was he? Like, he spanked him sometimes until he stood unconscious but it didn’t make Marco a bad person, did it? The truth is, he doesn’t care. Reus don’t feel remorse, guilt or love, he is just a bloody psychopath obsessed with that Polish man and he never stops until he gets what he wants. Robert wasn’t the only man he had sexual relations at that time, being honest he has various lovers until nowadays but to him, the relation is purely physical, he only insists at Lewandowski because he thinks that man is his property.

He got away without trying to fight Mats because he knew he’d end up losing but things turned out even better for his plan, by observing the way Thomas and Robert acted he now knows how to get his man back. In another way, he doesn’t know in which stage their relationship is but if Müller dares to touch his man he’ll have no mercy with him. Joke, we all know he won’t have mercy with him anyways, Thomas is just another body he’ll have to kill, one more, one less… it won’t make a difference. He started to remember the times he had fun with Robert…

Some months ago:

“Stop this!” Lewy was crying while another knife was shot at his arm “You are fucked in the head! Let me go, I can’t take this anymore”

Marco made Robert get unconscious and tied him to play Russian Roulette, the black-haired man at this point was at his edge, he was about to pass out and all Reus did is laugh about all of this situation.

“But darling, we didn’t even really start and we are having so much fun” a devilish smile was formed on his lips “I know you are enjoying this as much as me”

“I hate you!”

“Aww, I love when you say these lovely words to me”

Present day:

Reus laughed about that memory, he had good times with Lewy. It was so easy for him to conquer Robert, the man was always too gentle and an open book to everybody, he was a broken person the easiest type to fall in love. You just must pretend to give them what they can’t learn to give to themselves, love. And then, they’re all yours.

(...)

“All I want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door because if I could see your face once more I could die as a happy man I'm sure”

September 8th, Munich

It was a week ago, and Thomas still wasn’t over it. Remembering to see Robert in Mats’ arms made him want to puke. How could the pole have done that to him? Okay, they weren’t in a relationship or something like that, Thomas didn’t even know if Lewy liked him back, but treating him like he was especial and then do this was very disrespectful for the German. Also, that was the day they were going out together and Thomas was going to tell him he kinda likes him, thank God he didn’t do that, Lewy was clearly in love with Hummels and not with him, he felt so dumb for thinking he could've stood a chance and the flashbacks from the past weeks just made it all worse.

Some weeks ago:

Instead of teaching Robert how to play golf, today Thomas wanted to do something different. He took the Pole to meet his new farm in the East of the city and let’s say Robert wasn’t very used to the country life, Thomas told him to help to feed the chicken while the German himself was going to get the eggs from the nest. When he came back all he saw was a Pole man covered by chickens from head to toe and the pot with the ration dropped on the floor, he couldn’t help but laugh his ass off.

“Who would’ve said Bayern’s top scorer Robert Lewandowski was attacked by a bunch of chickens and can't take them out of him because he is scared?”

“Hey, I’m not scared!”

“Oh, of course, you aren’t, you are letting Bea put an egg on your head just because you like it huh?”

“Bea?”

“Beatrice, my chicken”

“You give them names?”

“Of course,” the German said taking Bea out of the striker's head and petting her a bit on his arms “That one in your shoulder is named Samira, that on your other shoulder is Nina and that in your foot is Karen”

“You take this name thing seriously, huh?”

“They are part of the family,” he said with a smile in his lips “and also, they did a very good job scaring you”

“I’m telling you, I wasn’t scared.” the Pole said blushing a little “ They caught me out of my guard, they are bad girls”

“Bad girls? Respect my chickens, please! ” Thomas said joking but Robert really thought he was mad “I’m joking, relax” both laughed in relief

“Come on, I’ll show you the lake I have here” The German took him by his hand and they walked to the horse stable, Thomas prepared one horse for both of them since the other horses were resting for the competition they’ll participate soon.

Thomas settled up everything and seated on the horse first, waiting for Robert to do the same, but when gave a look at the striker he was shook starring Thomas and the horse simultaneously. He offered his hand and instantly Lewy took it, he seated behind the German, keeping a certain distance from him.

“Everything is fine?”  
“Sure” he answered kinda unsure “Why?”

“You seem a bit scared, you aren't used to doing this stuff, are you?”

“No, I’m not. But you are making me like the country life, to be honest just your presence made all this experience awesome, I think I would even love to live in hell if you were there with me” At this time Thomas was as red as a tomato and if that wasn’t enough, Robert continued “ Maybe one day, who knows, I’d come to live in a farm next to yours or we can unite our farms and live together”

At this point, Müller’s heart skipped a billion of beats, he was shocked and didn’t know what to say, he opened and closed his mouth several times trying to find a good answer.

“Hm, yeah, sure! Haha, of course, we can have a farm together and I like having your presence here too” he laughed nervously “Ready to go?”

“I’m ready for everything” they laughed “as long as you’re with me”

They looked at each other's eyes and smiled, Thomas made the horse starts to gallop and as soon as they were getting a certain speed he felt a certain pair of arms enlace his waist. The sun was setting and a billion thoughts were crossing Thomas' head, maybe Robert liked him back? Or he was just holding him because he was scared? He didn’t know but now rather than overthinking he chose to enjoy that warm feeling the Pole was giving him.

Present day:

How could he be this dumb? Robert just used him, he never wanted to have anything with Thomas. Tears started running down his cheek, he felt like his body was shrinking on his bed while he hugged his own legs. He was thinking about how he’d probably never be able to trust or love someone again, maybe Robert ruined him for anybody else. Those electric blue eyes, that breathtaking smile, the way he was just too gentle with anybody... Thomas should’ve kept hating him since the beginning, that way he wouldn’t be suffering this much. Robert tried to talk to him during last week training but the German just maintained a small talk, he also tried to invite him to go out but Thomas gave him excuses all the time, he doesn’t want to know Robert’s side he just wants to forget all that happened. His phone started ringing, and guess who it was? Lewandowski. Speaking of the satan...

“Hello”

“Hi, Thomas! This is Robert”

“I know it’s you, I have your number” Ouch, the pole felt the anger from the other side of the line

“Hm, okay sorry haha. Carlo asked me to call you to ask why you didn’t come to the training today?”

“Tell him I’m sick”

“Sick? Of what? What do you have? If you need something tell me, I can help you. I can even go to your house as soon as the training finished and-“

“Sick of you hurting me! Leave me alone okay?” 

“Thomas, I” but at this time the German had already hung up. Robert kept trying to call him, at least more ten times but he didn’t answer any of his calls, all he wanted to do right now it’s to die.

(...)

Thomas woke up in the middle of the night with the sound of pebbles being thrown on his window, he opened it just to feel a shiver running down his spine. The man he loved but also hated was standing in front of his house with a horse.

“What the hell are you doing here, Lewandowski?”

“Won’t you invite me to come in?” the Pole smiled “It’s been a week since you are ignoring me and I have to explain to you what happened”

“I don’t know if you got my hint but when someone ignores you it means that the person doesn’t want to talk with you”

“Hey, stop screaming from your window, you’re gonna wake up your neighbors, let me in, we need to talk”

“No way! I don’t want to talk to you! And also, why did you bring this horse here?”

“It’s a present for you, I know horses are your favorite animals”

“You are trying to convince me to talk to you by giving me a horse?”

“Well... kinda?” he laughed

“You’re such a dumbass sometimes” Thomas was really angry and mad at him but he couldn’t help to laugh “Hold on, I’m gonna open the door but the horse will stay outside”

Thomas walked down the stairs trying to calm himself down from the Lewandowski effect, he couldn’t let that man see how much impact he has on him. He took some few breaths and opened the door.

“Come in.” he said looking the Pole in the eyes and closing the door behind them

“Thank you”

“Okay, say what you want to say but be quick I have to sleep” Thomas regained his defensive posture

“I don’t know where to start...”

“How about the beginning?”

“Well, I know you asked me at first if Mats was my boyfriend and I said no and then that day you saw us in an awkward scene... but that day Marco came in and tried to take me to Dortmund with him and Mats showed up at the right time to save me from him... that’s why you saw what you saw” Thomas was kinda skeptical at first but he remembered Robert’s bruises and then he realized how crazy Marco can be, since he said nothing, the Pole proceeded “I’m sorry Thomas, I didn’t want to hurt you making you think I lied to you”

“Well, okay then. I’m happy that you came here to apologize for making me think you lied to me, friends don’t lie to friends but you should probably assume your feelings for Hummels, I’m sure he feels the same about you”

“You didn’t get what I mean, did you?” the German raised his eyebrows “I love you, Thomas. That’s why I’m here trying to prove you that I don’t feel anything for Mats and that was all misunderstood, I’m sure we are more than friends... and I’m sure you feel the same, otherwise you wouldn’t get this mad at me” Robert said leaning closer to him, gently stroking his cheek his eyes staring at the German’s green eyes.

“You can’t be serious, if you think you are coming here and saying all of this and I’m going to apologize you in seconds you are to-“ but he wasn’t able to finish the sentence, Robert caught his lips in a slowly and caring kiss which turned into a daring, more passionate one since Thomas let his tongue slip inside the strikers mouth. They only stopped when the air was made necessary, they stared at each other, their chests going up and down and both of them blushed because of the arousal. They only broke eye contact when Thomas decided to give him a hug.

“Am I apologized now?” Thomas laughed on his shoulder

“I think you are” 

“Thomas?”

“What?”

“I don’t want us to be just friends anymore... do you want to be my boyfriend?” the blonde broke the hug to look at his eyes and give him a sweet but quick kiss.

“Of course I want to” he couldn't contain his happiness anymore “And, Robert...”

“What, Thommy?”

“I love you too”

[...]

“Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours,

I wanna be yours”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and ideas are always welcome! :) Tell me what you think about this story!


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